A 1931 painting by Franklin Carmichael titled 'Bay of Islands'

A Church You Could Bear

One man’s complicated relationship with the church

Rainy, the narrator in Leif Enger’s novel I Cheerfully Refuse, throws a birthday party for his wife, Lark. Friends, neighbors, and even strangers have gathered at Rainy and Lark’s home to celebrate. While his band performs for the gathering, Rainy reflects on what he once hoped the church might be like.

We stayed with the blues and Francie sensing a vein of covenant sang in her scratchiest aching voice, the reason we cajoled her into the band to start with, and it began to resemble what I once imagined church might be like, a church you could bear, where people laughed and enjoyed each other and did not care if they were right all the time or if other people were wrong.

— Leif Enger, I Cheerfully Refuse (New York: Grove Press, 2024), 74.

Ryan serves as a pastor at Grace Bible Church. His ministry ranges from preaching, teaching, and writing, to listening, being present, and walking with others through some of life’s most difficult experiences.

He lives with his wife and children in Escondido, California.

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blue, red, and yellow abstract painting

The Faithful Missional Community’s Suffering Vocation

The challenge of following Jesus in Babylon