notebook on wooden table

The Pain of Remembering After a Loss

Maybe he understood for the first time that to the boy he was himself an alien. A being from a planet that no longer existed. The tales of which were suspect. He could not construct for the child’s pleasure the world he’d lost without constructing the loss as well and he thought perhaps the child has known this better than he. He tried to remember the dream but he could not. All that was left was the feeling of it. He thought perhaps they’d come to warn him. Of what? That he could not enkindle in the heart of the child what was ashes in his own. Even now some part of him wished they’d never found this refuge. Some part of him always wished it to be over.

— Cormac McCarthy, The Road (New York: Vintage Books, 2006).

About Ryan

Ryan writes for weary pilgrims learning to follow Jesus through the wilderness. He served as a lead pastor at a church in Southern California for 8+ years. Before that, he worked as a software engineer for a decade. Today, he lives with his family in Escondido, California.

The Weary Pilgrim

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Samuel Palmer, The Good Farmer, 1865

The Vividness of the Past

An excerpt from The Memory of Old Jack by Wendell Berry

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